The aesthetics of being a woman in business

I wonder what you thought this article would be about when you read the title.

About “feminine design”? Aka, colours, fonts, images, shapes, or visual styles that make a brand look feminine?

I used to use the phrase “feminine design” quite naturally. It seemed like a perfectly normal way to describe a certain kind of visual language. And then, at some point, I stopped feeling comfortable with it.

So, what would this article be about?

I wanted to lay out my understanding of language for visuals, as well as my journey to this understanding. Because, as I already mentioned, it takes a while. I started with all sorts of prejudices, went through interactions within design communities and with real business owners, and built my own business along the way.

Yeah, it really takes a while...

And even if my current understanding is not perfect, the shift is big enough to write at least one article about it.

So, let’s get started.

Women and the weight of appearance

I think whenever we attach gender to a subject, it stops being cold and neutral.

It brings a lot of history with many “shoulds.”

The recent trigger that actually gave birth to the idea for this article was an Instagram reel with small parts of old interviews with young Emma Thompson and Meryl Streep, where they talked about women's roles in cinema and the kinds of aspirations traditionally reserved for women.

One of the things that stayed with me was this familiar idea that women's stories were so often connected to love, beauty, attractiveness, being desirable, and being liked.

Things have changed a lot nowadays. But I don't think all of those expectations simply disappeared.

They leave traces.

And appearance is a particularly interesting one because it has historically been part of women's social value. We are taught, from a very young age, to pay attention to how we look and how other people see us.

• Am I attractive enough?
• Am I too much?
• Am I not enough?
• Am I feminine enough?
• Am I looking my age?
• Am I looking professional?

There is a lot of evaluation around appearance.

So when a woman enters business, she doesn't suddenly arrive as a completely blank person. She brings all of that history with her.

And then business gives her another set of visual questions:

• How should I present myself?
• What should my brand look like?
• Does it look professional enough?
• Does it have enough personality?
• Is it distinctive enough?
• Does it look like me?

And these are completely legitimate business questions.

But there is a real danger underneath.

What does a woman in business look like?

We talk about feminine aesthetics as though we all know what that means...

Softness.

Warmth.

Playfulness.

Delicacy.

Colour. Sometimes pink.

Decoration.

Approachability.

Sometimes something romantic or whimsical.

And obviously, all of these are beautiful!

A woman can absolutely build a Barbie-pink brand with playful illustrations and love every second of it. She doesn't need to explain herself to me!

At the same time, another woman might want something completely different.

Minimalism.

Maximalism.

Dark editorial design.

Something highly technical.

She might even like a visual language that we would traditionally describe as masculine. She doesn't need to explain herself either.

Because the more I think about it, the more I question the category itself.

Why do we need to call these things feminine?

Softness isn't female.

Elegance isn't female.

Playfulness isn't female.

Pink isn't female.

And minimalism isn't male.

Boldness isn't male.

Technical design isn't male.

These are simply qualities.

We've learned to associate some of them with particular genders, but the qualities themselves don't belong to a gender.

And here's the thing: I don't think these words are particularly useful when we actually want to talk about design for business.

Honestly, I would love to throw the words “feminine” and “masculine” out of the design vocabulary altogether.

When “interesting” becomes another standard

Apart from all those gendered categories, I want to touch on another topic related to how we judge design.

Often, you can hear words like interesting, distinctive, authentic, expressive, memorable, safe, boring, or vanilla.

And these words can sound much more objective than they actually are.

If someone tells a woman that her brand is “too vanilla,” what exactly are they measuring?

Where is the vanilla scale?

Who decided where the line is?

There is always someone's taste behind it.

I realized this myself while I was part of a community for female designers. It was a learning community, and we were learning about business, so naturally, branding was one of the first things we talked about.

One of the ideas used to encourage us to express ourselves was to avoid being vanilla.

And I understood the intention:

• Don't look like everyone else.
• Don't be afraid to show your personality.
• Don't create something forgettable.

All of that makes sense. Just...

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My own visual style is quite calm and minimal. I don't naturally want to add decoration just because something needs “more personality.” I don't necessarily want quirky elements. I don't want to make something louder simply because loudness can be interpreted as confidence or creativity.

And yet, after hearing these ideas, I started questioning things that I had actually chosen intentionally.

Not because someone told me, “Your style is wrong.” It was much more subtle than that. I started looking at my own work through someone else's ruler.

The design community and the real world

Luckily — or not — I couldn't afford to indulge myself in doubts.

I had to work. And it became my medicine.

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There is a strange thing that can happen inside professional communities.

• Ideas circulate.
• Certain styles become popular.
• Certain websites are shared again and again.
• Certain designers become references.
• Certain words become part of the vocabulary.

And because you're surrounded by all of this, you start seeing a particular version of what “good” looks like.

But then you go back to the real world. And real businesses are... much messier.

They have different histories, different budgets, different personalities, different goals. They don't all need to look like the websites that are being celebrated inside design communities.

And they don't.

It reminded me that there isn't one visual world.

There isn't one correct level of personality.

There isn't one correct amount of difference.

There isn't even one correct idea of what a successful business should look like.

So why does any of this matter?

Let's circle back to women.

No matter what we want, appearance and aesthetics are attached to us. I don't know how my kids or grandkids will feel about it, but my generation was raised with these prejudices.

Yeah, we're adults. We can deal with a lot. But it often requires a mental fight.

Now let's look at business.

It's a fighting arena as it is already.

And when a woman is building a personal business, these questions can become a very heavy place to get stuck:

• Is my brand interesting enough?
• Is it distinctive enough?
• Does it express my personality?
• Is this aesthetic right for me?
• Am I doing it correctly?
• What if my website is too boring?
• What if it doesn't look like a real brand?

These are not small questions.

And a new business owner can easily spend an enormous amount of time trying to answer them before allowing herself to actually move.

She keeps looking for inspiration.

She keeps comparing herself with other people.

She keeps thinking she needs to understand herself better before she can create anything.

She postpones...

In the worst case, she gives up because the whole thing starts feeling too complicated.

This is the part that worries me.

Not whether a woman chooses pink or beige.

Not whether she loves minimalism or maximalism.

Not whether her taste is similar to mine.

It's when all of these layers of judgment make women feel that they need to figure themselves out perfectly before they're allowed to move forward.

And all of that in our insanely rapid world.

In my opinion and in my experience, these things take time to crystallize.

So while a woman is figuring it out, I would rather see her work.

Try things.

Be open to what comes.

Pay attention to what feels right.

And... enjoy it.

There is no need to turn every visual decision into a referendum on who she is.

Making space for your own aesthetics

I think this is ultimately why I wanted to write about the aesthetics of being a woman in business.

I don't want to reject “feminine” aesthetics.

I don't want women to feel that they have to have them.

And I don't want other women to feel that they have to reject them.

I want us to have enough space to choose.

And perhaps, I want us to have a different question:

“How much of what I think looks right for a woman in business actually belongs to me?” And how much of it did I simply learn?

Not one more definition of what a woman in business should look like.

Just enough freedom to decide for herself.

And enough room to let that decision change as she does.